※ 款式一：Fighting Grandads (激鬥阿公) 我要買
激鬥阿公是兩個拿柺杖互K的老人家，你K我一記老不修，我K你一棒糟老頭，棒透了!!! 多麼希望我到了這把歲數還能硬朗到能跟朋友互K，那就真的沒有白活了!!!!! (以下貼出英文原文產品介紹，如果英文還沒退化光的朋友可以自行閱讀一下，有一股幽幽的俏皮在字裡行間發酵.......)
Forget weapons of mass destruction, a generous dose of righteous indignation and a walking stick in the hands of a grumpy old man is far more threatening. These be-cardiganed and wickedly armed wind-up Fighting Grandads are a force to be reckoned with, or played with at any rate.
Comically shoed and ludicrously hated they're silly, utterly pointless and so of course immense fun. Combined with the Racing Grannies they make for an elite geriatric task force capable of suppressing all insurgencies, or at least putting the youth of today firmly in their place.
※ 款式二：Racing Grannies (競走阿嬤) 我要買
Possibly the best wind-up toy ever invented, the Racing Grannies are to geriatric speedway what Ferrari is to Formula One. As anyone who has been on the receiving end of a Zimmer-frame will know, grannies are formidable movers with legendary stamina, and these delightful wind-ups are testament to their endurance. With expressions of steely determination and complete with go-faster cardigans, these two are just a few winds away from the race of their lives. It's time to have your own Gran National!
※ 款式三：Speeding Grandads (極速阿公) 我要買
Stanley and Arthur may be getting on a bit, but age has not curbed their enthusiasm to feel the need for speed. These two hi-octane octogenarian speedsters are ace contenders for the pavement pentathlon. Pull them back and release them on their unique fast-track race against time. Each speedway geezer sits on a mini scooter complete with oxygen tanks to fuel their enthusiasm. One pull back and off they'll whiz, but who's got what it takes, Stanley or Arthur? We've no idea as they look remarkably similar, and we don't really care, because they're both a blast.
※ 款式四：Muscle Beach Boys (海灘肌男) 我要買
好像一直介紹老人在運動，有種夕陽無線好只是近黃昏的惆悵感，好吧，既然夕陽都看到了，那就來海灘找找海灘男孩好了，亞力山大的教練們，這玩具是獻給你們的!!!! 祝你們早日找到工作!!! (哪壺不開提哪壺)
Working out is almost as exhausting as working up the required level of self-adoration to go through the whole process in the first place. Just watching people work-out is hard work, and slightly pervy. Well in a bid to alleviate the exhaustion of actually taking any exercise, and an in an attempt to make watching people pump iron acceptable, we introduce Dumbbell Dwayne and Push-up Preston, possibly the funniest wind-up merchants on the planet. Hot from Venice beach, these pumped up boys with their bulging biceps, chiselled features and scary teeth are the perfect answer to letting someone else sweat for you. And of course you can laugh out loud at them (and you will!) without fear of being knocked into next week.
※ 款式五：Inflatable Horse and Cowboy (勁舞牛仔) 我要買
One of the drawbacks of modern urban living is that it's becoming increasingly difficult to find somewhere to keep your horse. Very few bars nowadays have anywhere set aside to tie it up, and criminal as it may sound, troughs are virtually extinct. What is the world coming to? Luckily we have a solution, firstly get rid of your horse, what were you thinking? Secondly, get hold of this absurd and wildly entertaining inflatable horse costume. More stupid than a skateboarding mongoose and a lot easier to control, the suit comes with its own internal fan, so you simply don a Butch Cassidy type hat (make sure it's not a David Cassidy hat, that would be, well, just stupid), step into the suit and inflate. In no time at all you will appear to be perched on you very own trusty steed and will look as authentic as a member of the Dirty Dozen (sort of), and marginally less absurd than the be-wheeled mongoose we mentioned earlier. You'll have to provide your own sound effects, but then that's half the fun anyway. No matter what the occasion, this is the best fancy dress costume there is - though if you're walking down the aisle you may want to consider something a tad more formal. It may only be single horse power, but it's a bigger crowd gatherer than a Ferrari, maybe.