「Smelly cat, smelly cat,
What are they feeding you?
Smelly cat, smelly cat,
It's not your fault.

They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favourite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses.
And you're no friend to those with noses...」

我想如果你是『Friends』的忠實影迷的話,必定對Phoebe的成名曲『Smelly Cat』耳熟能詳吧!這首『臭臭貓』是描述一隻可憐的臭臭貓,被主人棄養而淪落街頭乃至於全身發臭的淒涼晚景,歌詞溢滿著Phoebe典型的無厘頭風格與跳躍性思考,相當令人噴飯,然而在她所有充斥著死亡、暴戾的黑色幽默作品中,這首"童謠"還勉強可歸類為G級(美國的普級)吧,想收藏這經典絕倫曠世奇葩的"知音"們,可以在第二季原聲帶裡找到這首歌!

印象最深刻的是在某一episode裡,Phoebe在一群幼稚園小朋友前表演一連串自殺組曲,然後全場大大小小一片如烏鴉掃過般斜線不已,這首把小朋友嚇得一楞一楞的『What Happened to Grandma?』,不知道各位看倌是否還記得,描述奶奶歸西的歌詞可說是相當犀利逗趣、瘋癲脫序:(她的用字不難,懶得看英文的務必強迫自己看完,超莞爾!)
「Now grandma's a person who everyone likes.
She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner.
And last time you saw her, she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru.
But the truth is she died, and some day you will too.
La la la la la la la la la la...」

其實Phoebe的嗓子也不是什麼黃鶯出谷,甚至可以說是荒腔走板、五音不全了,但是卻可以在人來人往的咖啡廳「Central Perk」裡長期駐唱而不被轟下台,也算是紐約奇人軼事一則,多虧Phoebe的獨特思考邏輯,創作出來近乎歇斯底里的胡言亂語,常常意外奪得滿堂彩,尤其她字裡行間流露出詼諧的菲式幽默,乃在下的「無邏輯創作坊」所一直努力的目標 (這是什麼鬼志向?)。 接著再提供一則她的搞怪動物歌『The Barnyard Animal Song』:(不要偷懶!給我逐字看完!)
「Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.
Nooowww, chickens..........」

不過再回到『Smelly Cat』的話題上,前幾天上了NBC「Friends」的官方網站,在它們販賣的購物清單裡赫然發現Smelly Cat本尊現身,這件T恤(如圖)勾勒出臭臭貓的神韻可說是維妙維肖,真想給他買個一件來穿穿,參考網址如下:http://www.shopnbc.com/product/?storeid=2&familyid=N40202&track=2926&Deptid=2926。願意送我的,請再私底下跟我詢問我家的英文地址,甘溫啦!

而『Friends』第十季終於在上個月於美國首播了,之前謠傳說這季可能會是最終季,看來也在這陣子得到證實了,全世界的影迷們真的要跟『Friends』說掰掰了,我的老天啊!沒有『Friends』的日子我要怎麼過啊~~~(狂叫一通),好險現在DVD只出到第四季,以後還可以慢慢享受尚有六季要陸續溫存的快感,為了將片子供上神桌每日膜拜,在此先對周圍覬覦借用DVD的夥伴們說聲「需要的話,請來我家參拜。」,善哉!

鬼扯蛋完畢,奉上最新一期美版Newsweek的連結(http://www.msnbc.com/modules/exports/ct_email.asp?/news/972357.asp),是有關『Friends』最後一季的報導,看完真是令人無限惆悵感傷啊!史上最偉大的sitcom即將絕跡,哎呀呀......泣......
 

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