有話豪說

【最佳樹精壯妹獎：珍妮佛洛培茲】
→ 得獎原因：好萊塢的影歌雙棲壯妹就非J-Lo莫屬了，精實的手臂搭上綠色千層麵禮服上身，儼然是個巨型樹精或是年長的綠蠵龜，一旁的老公只能扮演小鳥依人的角色。



【最佳隆美窗簾公關獎：莎莉塞隆、皇后拉堤法】
→ 得獎原因：老實說，我還是建議這些布料就維持掛在窗子上的狀態就好了。



【最佳資源回收獎：納歐蜜華茲、章子怡】
→ 得獎原因：納歐蜜華茲胸前的漁網，以及章子怡裙子的燈罩，都是資源回收的好榜樣。



【最佳妖怪體型獎：桃莉芭頓】
→ 得獎原因：奶子大的像是兩顆垂吊的椰子雙拼，但是腰身卻細的像是根被腐蝕的甘蔗，不成比例的恐怖身段，雖然是位值得敬愛的鄉村天后，但是妖怪體型獎當之無愧！



【最糟配色獎：潔達蘋姬 (威爾史密斯老婆)】
→ 得獎原因：這種刺眼的亮藍色，簡直可以讓青光眼或是白內障的患者病情加重，我個人只允許它出現在星際大戰的外星變種人防護衣，或是蜘蛛人的下一套戲服。



【最佳肅然起敬獎：李安夫婦】
→ 得獎原因：乍看還以為是在總統府元旦升旗典禮拍的照片，不說還真的不知道是在好萊塢的星光大道哩！(抓頭)



【最佳中年發福獎：雷恩菲利浦】
→ 得獎原因：這是當年那個少女殺手嗎？臉腫了有一倍大吧！媽媽咪呀...(左圖為現在，右圖為古早)



【最佳活動蛋糕獎：珊卓布拉克】
→ 得獎原因：這就是傳說中會走路的藍莓蛋糕嗎？



【最佳拖把四姊妹獎：珍妮佛安妮斯頓、潔西卡艾芭、蜜雪兒威廉斯、珍妮佛嘉納】
→ 得獎原因：四姊妹穿著拖把禮服入場，一字排開像是在比誰甩尾功夫要得，典禮結束後紅地毯應該不需要再費心清潔了。



好了，頒完獎了，再度恭喜李安拿到奧斯卡最佳導演獎！YOU ARE GREAT!!


ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
Wow. I wish I knew how to quit you. First of all, i want to thank two people who don't even exist. Or I should say, they do exist, because of the imagination of Annie Proulx and the artistry of Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. Their names are Ennis and Jack. And they taught all of us who made "Brokeback Mountain" so much about not just all the gay men and women whose love is denied by society, but just as important, the greatness of love itself. Thank you. Thank you members of the Academy for this tremendous honor. And to everyone at Focus Features, in particular, David Linde, James Schamus, thank you for your love and support. To Bill Pohlad, Tory Metzger, Ira Schreck , Joe Dapello, many thanks, and a special thanks to David Lee. And thanks to my wife, Jane Lin, and my boys, Han and Mason. I love you. On "Brokeback Mountain," I felt you with me every day. I just did this movie after my father passed away. More than any other, I made this for him. And finally, to my mother and family, and everybody in Taiwan, Hong Kong and China. Thank you. 謝謝你們的關心！